As I sat in pain-staking misery, shielding my eyes from the light of the TV, like you would do as if the sun were shining on a bright Carolina blue sky day I said self?? Yes, self! Why do I keep on getting these awful, miserable migraines?? Hhmm. So, I sat and thought and sat and thought. While sitting and thinking, I was enjoying a cold, fresh glass of Crystal Light Peach Tea, as I do day after day trying to be a good girl; get my water in, keep my sugar down and it is has become a favorite drink. When all of a sudden, "AHA", I said. You see, I was feeling pretty darn sassy that I had finally figured this all out! I am sure you can see me standing there all surprised with the little bubble off to the side and a huge light bulb lit up :-)
It finally hit me. See, I was pretty sick the whole week after Christmas with the flu. I couldn't eat, drink, or really do much of anything for about a week. So my normal routine was thrown out the window. All I was really consuming during that week was Pedialyte, Glucerna, and flu medicines! So my normal eating habits and favorite drink of choice were not working out so well for me. After more than a week of not having any Crystal Light Peach Tea, and the fact that I was back to feeling 100%; plus I was craving my favorite drink so I decided it was time. So with dinner last night I had my Crystal Light Peach Tea. It was GOOD! After partaking in several glasses, I realized a few hours later that I had a migraine! AARRGGHH!! Man, it had been a couple of weeks since I had one so I was pretty put off by it. But I thought no biggie, it is just starting, I will go take 2 Excedrin Migraines and be done with it! Well it lasted for a few hours and on a pain scale of 1 to 10 it was pushing a 12!
That is when the light bulb went off for me! See, since I went in to congestive heart failure (CHF) last year, I have been trying really hard to take care of myself and do what is best for me, follow the doctor's orders, and take care of myself, like I should. Part of taking care of myself and my heart is keeping my diabetes in check. Since I am a diabetic, I do watch my sugar intake and try to use substitutes whenever I can, hence where the Crystal Light addiction came into play. I thought hey, I can kill 2 birds with one stone here. I can stop drinking soda, drink the right amount of water everyday, and keep my sugar in control. So for the past year if not more, I have pretty much gone to an all Crystal Light drinking party! During this time I have also had some of the most debilitating migraines I have ever had and they have progressively gotten worse as time has gone on.
For those of you who already knew this I am sorry. No, I haven't been living under a rock either. I was just really focused on getting better so I thought I was doing the right thing by stopping the sugary drinks and starting the "healthy" drinks, like Crystal Light and diet drinks.
I looked up the correlation between aspartame, which is used in Crystal Light, and migraines and I was pretty surprised to see what I read. " The highly-regarded New England Journal of Medicine conducted studies on the subject and found a link between heavy use of aspartame, especially in diet drinks, and people with migraine headaches. These studies, and one in particular, showed a strong correlation between those who get the attacks and aspartame. Specifically, it found that those studied who did not consume aspartame experienced a migraine on 24% of the study dates; those who consumed aspartame experienced a headache on 33% of those days. Another study suggests that an astounding 90% of all migraines are precipitated by allergic reactions to additives in food or the food itself. His study further suggested that aspartame is the most common migraine-causing additive. One other study found that 10% of migraine attacks are linked with aspartame consumption. Perhaps most significant is a University of Florida study which showed that aspartame increases migraine frequency in 50% of patients. "
Now, this is not to say that everyone will experience the same effect with aspartame as I have. Every one's body chemistry is different, and you can do your own trial and error with foods and beverages. So don't think just because I have figured this out for myself, it will be the same for you!
So my dear friends, I realized one of probably the many triggers of my migraines. I have wondered many, many times about what causes my migraines and I am happy to have figured this out. I am eager to continue along this journey to a healthier me and I hope I will continue to listen to my mind, soul and body. I welcome comments, suggestions and recipes to help keep myself healthy!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
A Toast to Today!
It is coming up on a year since I was admitted to the hospital with congestive heart failure (CHF). After spending a week in the hospital and coming home I felt like my whole life had been turned upside down and I didn't know what was going to happen next. I didn't know when I would be able to go back to work, how long they were going to let me work and how my bills were going to be taken care of. In the midst of all these health issues, my divorce had just gone final in May and I owned a house that I couldn't take care of anymore. I was scared, okay petrified is more like it. I was full of fear for many reasons. Just because I had been released didn't exactly mean I was better or that they fixed me. According to the doctors we still had a long way to go. It would be at least 2 weeks before I could go back to work on just a part-time basis, and there would be trial and error with new medicines. When I finally did see my doctor he did let me go back to work part-time but there was the fear of not being able to go back full time. As much as I tried to prove I could go back to work on a full time basis, I had to admit things were just not as easy as they used to be. I was tired after just 4 hours of work. I couldn't even handle everyday activities at home such as washing dishes or cooking without getting short of breath or turning a little blue around my lips. I knew something had to give and as I searched for a happy medium to make it all work, I finally came to the sad realization that if I wanted to live a happy, healthy life I couldn't work for now. But I told myself just for a little bit, just for now, this is not for forever! I will go back to work and I will be better than ever.
The doctor's came up with a plan and I started cardiac rehab and after the rehab was over I would be re-tested again and see what the next step was going to be. So I started a 12 week cardiac rehab program in February that I am sad to say I have not yet completed yet. I haven't completed it for alot of reasons. I have gone out of town a lot. At first I was feeling very guilty for traveling but then I realized how lucky I was. I was spending time with family, friends, and just relaxing. I was finally doing what the doctors wanted I was taking care of myself.
In the beginning of cardiac rehab I have to admit, I didn't want to do it and I didn't want to be there. I was the youngest person in the program and most of the people who were there had heart attacks, bypass surgery, and stents. I was so different. So I fought myself alot and the people who loved me almost daily about going to rehab. I missed many days just staying in bed and doing almost anything but going to rehab. I knew in the long run it was only hurting myself but at this time I was so angry. I was angry and disappointed in myself. How could I let this happen, how did I let myself get this far? I wasn't this sick was I? I just needed to pull myself together get through this rehab and get myself back to work!
Over the past year, I have learned that no matter what I want and what I think I am going to do, God always has another way; He has his own plan! I have faced many different emotions over the past year from anger all the way to peace! I have come to accept that yes I am sick; but that doesn't mean I am going to die and there are many things I can do to help myself and those I love. I still have a purpose here in this life. For right now, I am living day by day, enjoying life and what comes with it whether good or bad. Everyday, is a new step in the right direction. I am learning everyday how to live with the emotions that I am going through and I can only thank God for His grace, mercy, love and patience. I also can thank my family, Jesse and friends for their patience with me too! I am not always a ray of sunshine :-)
Today, I am okay! I don't know what the future holds, but I hold the hand of the one who knows my future and for me right now that is all I need to know!
The doctor's came up with a plan and I started cardiac rehab and after the rehab was over I would be re-tested again and see what the next step was going to be. So I started a 12 week cardiac rehab program in February that I am sad to say I have not yet completed yet. I haven't completed it for alot of reasons. I have gone out of town a lot. At first I was feeling very guilty for traveling but then I realized how lucky I was. I was spending time with family, friends, and just relaxing. I was finally doing what the doctors wanted I was taking care of myself.
In the beginning of cardiac rehab I have to admit, I didn't want to do it and I didn't want to be there. I was the youngest person in the program and most of the people who were there had heart attacks, bypass surgery, and stents. I was so different. So I fought myself alot and the people who loved me almost daily about going to rehab. I missed many days just staying in bed and doing almost anything but going to rehab. I knew in the long run it was only hurting myself but at this time I was so angry. I was angry and disappointed in myself. How could I let this happen, how did I let myself get this far? I wasn't this sick was I? I just needed to pull myself together get through this rehab and get myself back to work!
Over the past year, I have learned that no matter what I want and what I think I am going to do, God always has another way; He has his own plan! I have faced many different emotions over the past year from anger all the way to peace! I have come to accept that yes I am sick; but that doesn't mean I am going to die and there are many things I can do to help myself and those I love. I still have a purpose here in this life. For right now, I am living day by day, enjoying life and what comes with it whether good or bad. Everyday, is a new step in the right direction. I am learning everyday how to live with the emotions that I am going through and I can only thank God for His grace, mercy, love and patience. I also can thank my family, Jesse and friends for their patience with me too! I am not always a ray of sunshine :-)
Today, I am okay! I don't know what the future holds, but I hold the hand of the one who knows my future and for me right now that is all I need to know!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
You always get what you need!
We all know the saying, we always want what we don't have! If you hair is straight, you want curly hair, or vice versa. I would see people who didn't have to work and think wow, wouldn't it be awesome if I could just stay at home all day. I could do whatever I wanted, and I would be able to accomplish so much during the day! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my job as a medical office assistant in the cardiologist office, but we all can dream right? See, I am a people pleaser, a do-er, a care-taker, and I am always trying to help people however I can. Being a nurse was my dream career! It was a no brainer. The best of both worlds really! It didn't even seem like a "job" at all. I would be able to care for, encourage and educate patients with not only my skilled knowledge from my education but also with my life experience.
My work in the office came natural to me, it was like second nature. My favorite part of the job was working in the clinic and rooming the patients! I loved talking to the patients and getting to know them; occasionally I even got to meet their families. We didn't talk just about their health issues, although that was a huge part, but I got to know them on a personal level. I was able to listen to their concerns, fears, anxieties and everyday life happenings. I was able to provide them with real life education and sometimes a little encouragement. We shared smiles, hugs, joy and sometimes even tears. I met many wonderful people who touched my life in many, many ways.
Now, many of my patients, coworkers and physicians I worked for did not now I had CHD. I worked so hard to not let anyone know because I didn't want anyone to treat me different or think I couldn't do what they did. I wasn't ashamed of having CHD, I just didn't want the stigma of the word "sick" anywhere near me! When I did share my CHD with patients it was more like God picked the ones I would share with. He gave me the courage to share my story and the words to say. I know we didn't go through the same exact experiences, but I could sense when a patient was anxious about a procedure or surgery and I felt like sharing my story would help to ease their worry. Having heart disease is scary! Heart disease is the number 1 killer in the US according to the Mayo Clinic. I wanted them to know having heart disease didn't mean death. We can live long, healthy lives even with heart disease. I, and many others are living proof of that!
I am slowly starting to understand the importance of why my doctor's thought it would be a good idea for me to take a break from working. Trust me it is a long, hard process. I still struggle everyday with knowing even though I am not going to work, I have a purpose and my life can still be used for the better good of this world and for God's glory. Mostly, I am lonely. I try to keep myself busy with cardiac rehab, spending time with family, friends, and trying to better myself, not only physically but spiritually and emotionally. Everyday brings new challenges and feelings. I am trying to live my life in the moment and not get worked up over the "small stuff" that life brings!
Today, I feel pretty good. I am tired because I am suffering from a little bit of insomnia lately but no major issues and for that I am blessed! Every morning I have to weigh myself because of the congestive heart failure (CHF), to be sure I am not gaining too much weight over a short period of time. Weighing everyday is one of my least favorite tasks of the day, but I don't know many women or men for that matter who like to get on a scale :-) For me today, life is good! I have a strong faith and I know that is what keeps me going day to day! I always try to remind myself that somewhere out there, someone else is carrying an even heavier cross and they would gladly exchange theirs for mine!
My work in the office came natural to me, it was like second nature. My favorite part of the job was working in the clinic and rooming the patients! I loved talking to the patients and getting to know them; occasionally I even got to meet their families. We didn't talk just about their health issues, although that was a huge part, but I got to know them on a personal level. I was able to listen to their concerns, fears, anxieties and everyday life happenings. I was able to provide them with real life education and sometimes a little encouragement. We shared smiles, hugs, joy and sometimes even tears. I met many wonderful people who touched my life in many, many ways.
Now, many of my patients, coworkers and physicians I worked for did not now I had CHD. I worked so hard to not let anyone know because I didn't want anyone to treat me different or think I couldn't do what they did. I wasn't ashamed of having CHD, I just didn't want the stigma of the word "sick" anywhere near me! When I did share my CHD with patients it was more like God picked the ones I would share with. He gave me the courage to share my story and the words to say. I know we didn't go through the same exact experiences, but I could sense when a patient was anxious about a procedure or surgery and I felt like sharing my story would help to ease their worry. Having heart disease is scary! Heart disease is the number 1 killer in the US according to the Mayo Clinic. I wanted them to know having heart disease didn't mean death. We can live long, healthy lives even with heart disease. I, and many others are living proof of that!
I am slowly starting to understand the importance of why my doctor's thought it would be a good idea for me to take a break from working. Trust me it is a long, hard process. I still struggle everyday with knowing even though I am not going to work, I have a purpose and my life can still be used for the better good of this world and for God's glory. Mostly, I am lonely. I try to keep myself busy with cardiac rehab, spending time with family, friends, and trying to better myself, not only physically but spiritually and emotionally. Everyday brings new challenges and feelings. I am trying to live my life in the moment and not get worked up over the "small stuff" that life brings!
Today, I feel pretty good. I am tired because I am suffering from a little bit of insomnia lately but no major issues and for that I am blessed! Every morning I have to weigh myself because of the congestive heart failure (CHF), to be sure I am not gaining too much weight over a short period of time. Weighing everyday is one of my least favorite tasks of the day, but I don't know many women or men for that matter who like to get on a scale :-) For me today, life is good! I have a strong faith and I know that is what keeps me going day to day! I always try to remind myself that somewhere out there, someone else is carrying an even heavier cross and they would gladly exchange theirs for mine!
To Starting Over
As many of you know, I was born with a congenital heart defect. I was born "a blue baby" or the correct medical term is called d-trasposition of the great arteries. Here is a link to the American Heart Association where you can read more about my Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=11074
Many babies who have had a congenital heart defect (CHD) do have problems as we get into our 20's and 30's, and that was very true for me! At the age of 24, I developed an arrhythmia called bradycardia - a slow heart rate, and had to have a pacemaker implanted in order to keep my heart rate in the normal range. Besides, this one hiccup, I had lived a pretty normal life. My CHD did not stop me from doing anything I had wanted. I was working in a cardiologist office as a medical office assistant, and was going after my life dream of becoming an RN.
At the end of July 20009, as my regularly scheduled check-up was approaching with Dr. Greene, my pediatric cardiologist. I knew I had to talk to him about my increasing fatigue and shortness of breath. But I just passed it up to being tired because I was so busy with school and work. No big deal, so I thought!
During my appointment Dr. Greene performed an echo cardiogram (ultrasound of my heart) and as he we went through the pictures he noticed there had been some changes so it was time to come up with a new plan. My ejection fraction (EF), which is the pumping function of your heart had decreased. So the plan was to start me on some medication to help my EF increase. It would take a while for the medicine to kick in and it would have to be increased over a period of time, so he agreed to let me continue to work, but only on desk duty, and no extra curricular activities after work, which included no school for now :-(
I understood and did as he instructed but within a week I was hospitalized in Charlotte with heart failure and had to be transferred to Duke University. After spending 5 days at Duke, and the doctors trying many different medicines and treatments and after going through many tests, I was finally able to go home feeling better! I just need a litte "tune-up".
During my appointment Dr. Greene performed an echo cardiogram (ultrasound of my heart) and as he we went through the pictures he noticed there had been some changes so it was time to come up with a new plan. My ejection fraction (EF), which is the pumping function of your heart had decreased. So the plan was to start me on some medication to help my EF increase. It would take a while for the medicine to kick in and it would have to be increased over a period of time, so he agreed to let me continue to work, but only on desk duty, and no extra curricular activities after work, which included no school for now :-(
I understood and did as he instructed but within a week I was hospitalized in Charlotte with heart failure and had to be transferred to Duke University. After spending 5 days at Duke, and the doctors trying many different medicines and treatments and after going through many tests, I was finally able to go home feeling better! I just need a litte "tune-up".
Surprisingly to me, I was far from "fixed" and the follow-up visit back home with Dr. Greene would entail a new plan and many new changes for my life. I was only able to go back to work part-time and only for desk duty! I thought after a few weeks of following these orders at my next check-up I would be released back to work full-time. Things didn't go my way at my appointment with Dr. Greene. After he, his partners and the physicians at Duke all talked about my case, they decided it was time to fully invest in my health since I was not well. They thought it would be best if I did not go back to work, complete a cardiac rehab program and get my heart strengthened back up. October 9, 2009 was my last day at work.
My life has changed in so many ways over the past year. I have decided to start this blog to help myself cope with the everyday emotions and challenges I face. Just like anyone who has a sickness, I ask God, why me? I don't know the answer but I know God has a purpose and it is so much bigger than me! Just like you, I have good and bad days. Please, don't mistake my bad days or my frustrations that I encounter as me not being thankful for what I have. I am so very thankful for the life God has blessed me with, but I am a "real" person with "real" emotions that I want to share. Through my writing I am hoping and praying for healing, as well as being an encouragement through my heartfelt words.
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